2003 QOOC (Quoted Out of Context)

I'm not sure how this tradition got started, but once it was, it was obvious that it would never be safe to talk casually around Kimberly (or anyone who knows Kimberly - reports are given to her nearly-daily of quotes heard by others.)

The important thing to remember is that we couldn't care less what the context actually IS - these are OUT of context - explanations rejected summarily!

Anyway - here they are! If they aren't funny to you, bummer - you should have been at the party - they were hilarious then < grins >

We're trying to keep the banging to a minimum --Aidon
You need to lick your finger before you do that --James O.
I've actually been searching for alternate 12 year olds who are good --Kelvin
Think of me out with the two year olds --Kelvin
I guess I didn't screw around successfully --Simon Nash
Don't publically expose your internals --Dion
I was tired of getting my back door pounded --Mike Brown
There's always a chance you'll get the right guy --Peter Haggar
I did it in the future, after I said I did it. --Bonnie Ricca
Now mine's become unplugged --Aidon
I'm glad I'm not his girlfriend --Mike Brown
So .... where's your bed? --Patti Richards
It picks up any thing that flows by dIon's lap. --Dave Landers
We've got to get to bed earlier --Patti Richards
I'm creating a new document in my head that you obviously didn't know about --Bonnie (during a talk)
Best come back line: Aidon has something... "So we've been told!" --Dion
Best mis-statement: The javasummit mailing list is hosted on yahoogroups.cum --Kimberly
In the old days, which is actually right now... --Bonnie
My bathroom actually smells like pizza --Bonnie
Ok, pet me then. --Joe Oak to Matt
We're just scooting ourselves in from the rear --Denise
The better ones are towards the rear --Aidon
It's time to go to bed - Dion's here --Joe Oak
We'll do you - what are you? --Dion
Gary was a reverse 69 --Dion
You want your ass to be on my hand --Dion
After a long time, the cock broke off --David Jennery
I was there when I saw it --Will Jaynes
I need to update my viruses --Robert Kraai
Am I the only one who got it the way I got it, when I got that thing? --Kimberly
Give it to me in pairs, will you? --Wayne
So other people enjoying it might put you in the mood --Mitch Smith
I got two nuts, but I'm juggling balls --Kevin
Did you drain me while I was gone? --Kimberly to David M.
Where's your nearest hole? --Aidon
David doesn't think he's that small --Noel
See, he drools constantly! --David about Dion
You're no good for what I want --Kimberly to that guy over there....
16 is borderline acceptable --Mike Brown
Dion doesn't have an off switch either --Will Jaynes
I can recognize Aidon with my eyes closed --Noel
Dion - you're a good man - I respect you! --David Jennery
My ears completely changed --David Jennery
Look how small these things are - they've shrunk --Noel
I only have five on this hand --Aidon
The little thing here - pull it --Dave Landers to Noel
My taster is gone --Dave Landers
As long as you're close enough Aidon, I'll use yours. --Evan
I'm watching the lady put on a white glove, and thinking "where are they sticking that??" --Evan
We've been known to do it from one side of the bed to the other. --Kimberly
He sent me the picture of him kissing his llama --Joe Oak (about Joe Wyatt)
"Can I spend about 20 minutes with that thing?" --David M
"If you stick your hand under my laptop..." -- Dion
"When you pull my string out" - Bill Dudney
GET and POST have been revoked --Kevin
Any day that starts out with a blow job and half a dozen orgasms isn't going to be too bad! --Kimberly
In the "size matters" category:
Hey Mike, which is bigger - his or yours? --David Jennery to Mike Bowler
"What's the difference in size between mine and yours?" - Dion talking to Paul Tremblett
dIon's is smaller by an inch and a half on both directions. --Paul T
They could get it up. --Paul G.
I know how good it will be when you get it out --David M.
In the "hmm... which way do THEY lean?" category:
2002: Now I sort of go both ways --Kimberly
So yeah ... I go both ways --Denise
I've done it both ways --Noel
We can go both ways --Dave Landers
I don't lean that way --David M.
It started raining IBMers on me around 10 oclock this morning --Denise
QOOCs of the year:
About the mailing list, I just want to know ...Is Russel Coker a real person? --Glenn Murray during a Q&A
I am not a wanker --Wayne
I touched your ass, and I did it for free! --Aidon, to Mike Brown


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Copyright Kimberly Bobrow Jennery, 1997-2006

Contact Kimberly at: kimberly at bobrow dot net